She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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