at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
