apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
