Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
