nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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