Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
