VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
