Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize