I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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