Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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