The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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