it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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