sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
