Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize