We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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