So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
