Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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