we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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