the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
