Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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