have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
