Say something about gay babies.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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