Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
