Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize