I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
