Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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