mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
