i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
