Ambien. No doubt about it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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