Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize