I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
