lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
