I can't watch pbs sober anymore
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
