She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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