Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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