We won't sleep together?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
