so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
