I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So much Jack, so little girl.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
