3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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