i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
