It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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