Jerry, you need to find god
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i barfeds in our rink
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
