Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
