She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
