Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
