i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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