His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
