ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
