Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
