note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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