a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
