Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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