Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
