we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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