oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
