I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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