so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize