i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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