im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
