Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
