Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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