I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
