I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
